dinnerroll

I have come across so many morons in my little time on planet Earth that I have took it upon myself to begin a classification system. This system is a rough draft that only attempts to make very general classifications and is in no way an attempt to include all of the tires of ignorance. That task is far too monumental for but one man.

Tier 1
Those who don't realize how dumb they are

Chances are if you don't think that you are a moron than you belong here. These are the people that ask such ridiculous questions that it just makes you scatch your head and wonder why on earth their parents were allowed to procreate and produce this being. These are the people that can do NOTHING on their own and constantly require attention and a parent/teacher/fellow moron to hold their hand.

Tier 2
Those who possess the ability to look back and realize how dumb they are

We've all come across this type. They ask a question with an answer so obvious that it leaves you wondering how and why these words ever muttered from their worthless mouths. You immediately throw them into Tier one as soon as they open their mouths. A moment later, they recognize the ignorance of their words and say "wow, that was a dumb question" or "I think I just answered my own question" thereby shuttling them into Tier 2. At least they can recognize a moron when they see one, it's just too bad the moron turned out to be themself.

Tier 3
The king. AKA King Stoopid.

These people have such incredibly inflated egos and have blinded and tired themselves from a lifetime of trying to carry their ego baggage that they have convinced themselves that they are divine. They actually believe themselves and possess the ability to convince themselves of an utter lie as long as it comes out of their mouth. You CANNOT argue with King Stoopid. S/he will win every time by default due to the fact that everything that s/he says is law. Good luck in all of your ventures King Stoopid, you ass.

Some people should just learn to stay in their homes....all the time, holidays included. If you have ever driven on a holiday you most certainly would have noticed that the roads are jam-packed, filled to capacity with millions and millions of people who have no idea how to drive. Under normal circumstances, these people never leave their "Zone of Occupation". The Zone of Occupation consists of the roads between the individuals home and work and the roads between their favorite restaurant and home. This is the only place these people drive. When they venture out of their Zone of Occupation on holidays all hell breaks loose. The roads are foreign and the visuals too much to process for our slow friends. It is an absolute nightmare attempting to dodge the 2500 lb. metal bullets manned by the insiders. What they are doing outside of their Zone of Occupation is beyond me. Maybe, just maybe if they thought about it for a while they would figure out that the only reason they get invited to Cousin Dave's picnic twice a year is because Dave shares the same last name as them. If Dave really wanted to see them, he might pick up the phone and call more often than just before the holidays. The point of this is if you don't get invited somewhere on non-holidays, you aren't wanted there so don't bother going. Stay off the roads, don't leave your zone and recognize your place in this world.

bullshit